Monday, June 4, 2012

hello, scary: If I Only Had a Brain

The first night Chelsea's scarecrow came to life was on Halloween. Her farm was too far away from other houses to trick or treat for candy, and she wasn't a fan of scary movies, so she just watched The Wizard of Oz with a bag of mini candy bars before tucking in for the night.

She woke up and he was in her bedroom, standing over her, smelling like musty straw and over ripened corn.

"I need a brain," he whispered, and she knew where the nightmare had come from. The Wizard, of course, what a silly thing to watch before bed. A scarecrow that needed a brain wasn't nearly as innocent as it sounded on the surface, apparently.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, hoping not to encourage the dream further. She pointed to the open bag of mini candy bars left over on her nightstand. "Have some candy, scarecrow."

She pulled the covers over her head and went back to sleep. In the morning, she looked out her window and sure enough, the scarecrow was just where he was supposed to be, posed above the cornfield with his arms outstretched like Jesus.

The day was long and hard, lots of animals to tend to, lots of cooking preparation with Mama to ensure a hot dinner when Daddy came home after a day in the field. When they were eating, Daddy was much quieter than usual, but Chelsea knew better than to ask if anything was wrong. Luckily, Mama asked instead.

"It's okay," Daddy said through a mouthful of fried pork chop. "It's just that something is wrong with the corn."

"The corn?" Mama asked, her voice low. "Oh, no, Dylan. We're supposed to sell that crop in just a few weeks. What's the matter with it?"

"It's the strangest thing," Daddy said. "Some of the ears seem to be missing their kernels. They're just dry husks filled with nothing. No worms, no disease. They're just....bare."

"Oh my Lord," Mama sighed. "We had better find a way to fix it. We need that money."

Chelsea tried not to let her parents' stress get to her too much. They'd be okay, she told herself, they always were, they'd seen bad crops before. Before bed, she gazed out her window. In the light of the moon, she could see the scarecrow hovering over the corn. His wide brimmed hat cast a black shadow over his entire face. Suddenly he twitched, just a small quick twitch, but enough to make Chelsea jump out of her skin.

She climbed into bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. There's no way he moved, she thought. There's just no way.

But after she fell asleep, Chelsea was awakened to a rasping sound. It was the scarecrow, standing in her room again, and this time she felt much more awake than before. The thing still stunk like musty straw and over ripened corn. It was holding Chelsea's Wizard of Oz tape.

"I need a brain," he moaned, and his voice sounded clumped with soil and burlap. "If I only had a brain."

"You can't have mine," Chelsea whispered, astonished at her own bravery. "You just can't, scarecrow. Go take someone else's."

The scarecrow stared at her in silence, his fabric face wrinkled in anger. Chelsea forced herself to close her eyes, and a few minutes later she heard the thing shuffling out of her room. She pinched herself, but didn't wake up. She wanted to look out the window to see if the scarecrow was on his post, but she knew that he wasn't, so instead she locked her bedroom door and dove back under the covers.

The next morning she was awakened to Mama screaming from outside. Chelsea sprinted downstairs, still in her nightshirt, but stopped dead when she almost stepped into a pool of blood soaked into the dirt in the front of the house.

Daddy's horse lay dead in the front clearing of the house. His head was torn open, with blood and yellow jelly strewn all around, his cracked skull gleaming white in the morning sun. Even from where she stood, Chelsea could see that his brain was missing. She looked up to the scarecrow in terror. There was red smeared down his front.

Despite her Mama's screams, Daddy seemed oddly calm, and Chelsea could swear she saw him shoot the scarecrow an extra glance or two while he dug a grave for the horse with his tractor. That night at dinner, Daddy told them that he was previously mistaken about the poor condition of the corn. The crop was lush now, he said. The kernels were full and juicy and as yellow as the sun. Everything was going to be okay.

The scarecrow didn't come into Chelsea's room again after that. Still, she threw away her copy of The Wizard of Oz, and when that luscious crop of corn was harvested, she didn't eat a single bite.

Friday, June 1, 2012

hello, links: A Whole Lotta Food

Happy Friday! I am particularly excited for this weekend, since Eddie has both days off and we can just sit around doing a whole lot of nothing.

Almost all my links this week are recipes. LEAVE ME ALONE I AM ALWAYS HUNGRY. You can't deny it though, all of this food looks seriously stellar, right?

-I'll start out with the two linkies that aren't food. As soon as Lily's mattress gets put on a bed frame, I will totally make this radical no-sew sparkly bed skirt for her, most likely in electric blue or lime green. That's right I said no-sew! Just cut and tie, pretty much. Awesome.

-This braided bun tutorial is super simple but so, so pretty. I'm going to be trying this one out ASAP.

-I really love corn bread, especially with a nice bowl of chili or bean soup, but a lot of times store brought corn bread is super dry and flavorless, and over all a big disappointment. This recipe for stupidly easy corn bread looks too good to be true- way moist and flavored with yellow cake mix! Mmmmm. Cake. I mean, um, corn bread.

- Snickers cake. The best candy bar come to life in pastry form. Yes please!

-I've said it once and I'll say it again: bacon makes everything better. Including chicken. Check out these sweet and spicy bacon wrapped chicken bites. Ommm nom nom nom nom.

-I really like popcorn anyway, but who wouldn't like it smothered in caramel and marshmallow? Best sleepover snack on the planet, pretty much.

-I'll leave you with something healthy. (Shocker!) This looks like the best breakfast or late night snack ever. Granola stuffed strawberries.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

hello, family: T Minus Five Days

So, my due date is in five days. FIVE. I'm so not looking forward to labor, but I have been daydreaming about the aftermath for months now.

I'll get to see what Jude looks like! I'll get to watch the hilarity and adorableness of Lily in the Big Sister role! I'll get my body back to myself again! Aaaaaah.

The phrase "when it rains, it pours" has always been way prevalent in Eddie and I's lives. Tough times of any kind seem to really cling together and come all at once for us, and the same thing happens with good times. At this moment in time, a LOT of really new, big, exciting things are happening to us and it's been absolutely amazing. I wish I could be more specific, but alas. Now is not the time.

I've had contractions for the last four days or so, but never enough to raise an eyebrow and have us wondering if I'm in labor or not. I'll just have one or two at a time and then won't have any more until the next day. Hopefully this means that I'll be able to go into labor naturally this time around instead of being induced, although my inner self is wickedly eager at the thought of being able to schedule things around the birth. (IE: Cleaning the house like a cuh-raaaazy nesting pregnant lady.)

So now, in more than one aspect in life, all I can do is wait. I've been in waiting periods before, but this time the end results for all those Big Fun Important Things are totally in sight. Can't wait to meet my little boy.

When I *do* have the baby, chances are very great that I'll be taking a week or so off from blogging to get my Mama of Two sea legs.

Alright, body. LET'S DO THIS THANG.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

hello, yummies: Mango Avocado Chicken Salad

DAAAMN, GIRL.

This salad looks straight up ballin'.



I'd leave the pistachios off, personally, but everything else in this recipe looks ridiculous-good. The dressing looks interesting too, although I might reach for some Italian instead. Yummm.

Monday, May 28, 2012

hello, scary: The Devil Inside

Today, I have a Very Important Mission.

This mission is to rent and watch The Devil Inside, which has terrible effing reviews but by George I WANNA GIVE IT A CHANCE.

This happens to me all the time- I'll see a preview for a scary movie and think it looks terrifying and awesome. Then the reviews come out and everybody and their mom hates it and my husband will insist that we wait for it to come out on DVD to see it, to avoid spending a billion dollars on tickets and popcorn and candy and soda. (The concessions are mandatory, people. MANDATORY. It's part of the theatre experience. Still, that's not to say that I'm above smuggling the soda and candy in with the help of my ginormous purse.)

Yesterday in the grocery store I noticed that The Devil Inside was new in the Red Box, so I got all giddy and tried to rent it, only to find that it was out of stock. DAMN! So then I thought to myself, "Pshaw, who needs Red Box when I've got a perfectly good Xbox at home that offers streaming and video rentals with a few pushes of a button."

So I go home and alas...Xbox Live is having problems allowing purchases for whatever reason. Still I refused to give up, but after thirty minutes of pressing the A button over and over and over to the same error message, I couldn't go on any longer.

So we watched Tremors 2 instead. Oh, excuse me...Tremors 2: AFTERSHOCKS. Hellllls to the yeah.

Today is a new day, friends, and I'll be damned if I don't get my horror-hungry paws on this movie, whether through Red Box or Xbox Live. If it sucks, I will be weeping into my Skittles.


Friday, May 25, 2012

hello, links: Candy Cakes, Awesome Alice Art Book, and Vincent

Happy Friday!! I regret to inform the intrawebz that I attempted the legendary Labor Inducing Eggplant Parmigiana to NO AVAIL. Come ooon baby, get out already! I'm totally ready for you to make your arrival.

-Stephen King's Carrie is being remade, and is going to star Chloe Moretz. Hell yes!

-Speaking of movies, they've announced an official release date for The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Huzzah! I devoured this book in high school before I even know what the term "YA" meant.

-Um, these are birthday cakes. MADE OF CANDY. Whoever invented these deserves a super enthusiastic high five.

-I am a huge lover of blueberry pancakes. I'll always choose them over chocolate chip, much to my husband's dismay. It is for this reason that this blueberry pancake cupcake with maple buttercream recipe has me drooling all over my keyboard.

-MORE BREAKFAST YUMMIES. This apple oatmeal crisp looks like something I'd eat in bulk. Either hot from the oven for breakfast, or cold from the fridge in the middle of the night.

-So there was that one study from Brigham Young University that suggest we 'rate' YA books according to age appropriateness. This is ridiculous, since the ratings would be based off of somebody else's moral code, and mostly revolve around profanity. Gayle Forman weighs in on why this rating system is "motherfucking lame."

-Ooh yes, please. Orange teriyaki chicken kabobs. Imagine this served with rice and zucchini!

-Ages and ages ago I reviewed the video game Alice: Madness Returns on this blog. Basically, I adored it with all my heart. The visuals in it were stunning, and I WANT THIS BOOK SO SO SO BAD. I saw it in Hastings and the artwork is gorgeous. Take a gander at some of the art behind this awesome game. Breathtaking!

-Last but not least, treat yourself to another beautiful piece of art- Tim Burton's short film, Vincent.








Tuesday, May 22, 2012

hello, yummies: Flavored Water

My favorite summer drink is peach iced tea, hands down. And while I definitely do enjoy an ice cold Coca Cola or Pepsi (any cola really,) sometimes it's nice to have something super fresh and unique to keep you cool in the summer months.

AND SO. Check out these beautiful and mega delicious flavored water recipes.




My sister in law made this for my baby shower, and it was ah-maaazing. I ended up drinking like seven glasses of it, haha! Yummies, yummies, yummies.